abuse

my therapist told me that she believes i abuse alcohol. after a few days of contemplation i wonder why she chose to tell me that i abuse alcohol as opposed to food, or sleeping pills. i am addicted to salt and vinegar potato chips and could eat a bag per day, i take sleeping pills at six pm because i don't feel like watching tv, doing homework or cleaning and there can't be anything else worth staying up for. But i only drink every so often. I don't drink to cover up pain, i drink because i love it. i don't drink every day or every week. sometimes i go a month without a sip. i reject her theory of abuse.

bling

Tonight, as I was looking out my bathroom window, I caught a casual glimpse of my neighbor - probably waiting for the girl he lives with - sitting in his truck outside my window. The moonlight reflected a ring on his left hand.

Conversation with Brad that may never take place

No, Brad. I do not want to get you in trouble. I do want you to sit down on the bar stool next to me and sit with your legs spread around mine, my knees in between yours and lean forward so that I can whisper this into your ear:
What I want is to get to know you on an emotional and physical level. To make love to you in the slow way that will make you understand that there is good left in the world. I want to make love to you in a way that will make you forget the heat and death of the dessert, that will make you forget you are an officer and I'm not, that will make you forget about your girlfriend in Equador.