bug eyed

Yesterday I fulfilled one of my (many) dreams and had permanent eyeliner tattooed on. It didn't hurt because I was numbed to the gills, but it tickled like nobody's business! It felt like what it feels like when a bug flies into your eye and squirms around. That stressed me out because I wanted to scratch but had a keen awareness that there was a needle dangerously close to my eye. J'despise not being in control. Kelley told me my eyes looked fine yesterday although they felt like I had spent the last 24hours crying. This morning they look like I spent the last 24 hours crying. All puffy and heavy-lidded. I want to go somewhere and have an excuse to wear sunglasses inside, flaunting my first cosmetic semi-surgery.

I have been spending money lately. It works out for me because it's one of my favorite things to do. It all started when I heard about the Secret. This philosophy teaches me that if I think good things, good things will come to me and therefore, if I think I'm going to get a lot of money, I will. And I DO think I'm going to get a lot of money. The fact that I am over $30,000 in debt doesn't bother me. I just don't think it matters. I have a place to live, heat, water, a car and food. Everything I need! Good things are coming to me. Millions of dollars are coming to me. The Universe is shifting as I type to bring money and good things to me.

Speaking of good things and money, I have finally started to date after 27 years of existence. I can't say it's easy, but relationships aren't easy either. I've gone on 4 dates so far and not one has resulted in a second date. I'm not too sad about it though. None of the guys are who I would consider to be "Mr. Right." It just would be nice to have someone with whom to do fun things.

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