Fear plus loathing plus self effacing behavior

This chapter of my life, the chapter I would title, "This is bullshit," has to be the most enlightened of all chapters of my life. This portion of my life is where all of my dreams have come true.
My desire to be independent is fulfilled. Not only am I independent, I am alone. The friends I do have are far away or flakey (read: selfishly unavailable).
My desire to let a man control my finances has been fulfilled: I am broke constantly - all of my money controlled by the Man.

I'm not sure I want any of the things I thought I wanted out of life. Marriage will inevitable lead to divorce. Bearing children will make them hate you. Any money I make will be lost.

Fear of abandonment.
Fear of failure.
Fear of intimacy.