My aversion

I can barely stand to go on to myspace anymore. I guess a more accurate statement would be that I have such an aversion to myspace at this point in time that I can barely tear myself away from it. It's sort of the same feeling one might get if they passed a car accident on the side of the road. I can see pools of blood even before I see the dead, mangled, exposed bowel bodies, yet I have to look, to see what such horror really looks like. Maybe it is a bit drastic to compare what I perceive to be a relationship between someone who is not even my boyfriend, (never was and probably never will be) and some girl (who I've never met and who could potentially be very lovely) with a fatal car crash, but it feels like an accurate parallel. I guess it's worse because it's thrown in my face, or on myspace, which is almost as intimate as my face. I guess it's worse because she lives in California and so do I, she got to visit him, gets to have inside jokes with him, gets to share emails, phone calls, what-have-you with him and I don't. I guess it's also worse because I feel like I did something wrong because he won't talk to me and so now all I can do is guess.