the end result
crush came back on sunday. he *practically begged for me to take him back, so after much back and forth, i did. nothing has changed about our relationship: he will still only call me once every four or more days, will still only stay over one night, will still visit san francisco in search of other girls. what makes it better is that he let me know that he cares. all i really want is for him to be sweet to me, and i'll let him do whatever he wants.
i've been smoking cigarettes regularly lately. for those of you who know me, you know that that's a sure sign of stress. it's work. i'm so fed up. i've never been so disatisfied in my life. my cmc sat down with me the other day and told me that i have what it takes to make it in the navy- i've never been so insulted. people who make it in the navy are not the sort of people i emulate. the fact that i'm being put in the same category as compulsive liars, and those who need a security blanket, makes me want to vomit and run for my life.
the trick to life is to be happy with what you have. the trick to life is being happy with what you have. when life hands you a lemon, make lemonaide. eat your cereal with water if you have no milk- it's good!



*he didn't cry, but he was on his knees at one point, and claimed to have blurry vision and was short of breath when i told him (one of many times) that it was over.