"it's very strange, we always have the idea of missing- missing love, missing tenderness, missing a birthday, missing the peaople we love. this is the spirit of traveling" -phillip starck.

my heart is broken. my starcrossed lovers senario is coming to a head: crush and i spent a passion filled night together that ended in tears this morning- and why wouldn't it? we are, i believe, on the brink of a great love, but it is completely impossible for us to be together due to our differences in social status, so to speak. my heart is broken. i see a future for us, a fututre that promises to bring golden times, but i'm not sure it will happen. so many reasons why and why not. so we decided to keep going as we are, living in fear of exposure. what would dr. laura say about this one? i asked him if he had some support for this issue, someone he sould talk to about it, he said he did, and that the advice of this appointed sage was to run in the opposite direction. the sage has me pegged for some officer and a gentleman type drama, which i was angry about, but now laugh at: i've been through worse things without causing drama. i think crush knows that. but i know he will be one of my great loves, the kind that leaves a deep immpression. pray for me, i pray for myself that the love that i keep stored inside of me will find a dear man apon which i may pour out my stores. someone who will accept it all and all that will follow. someone who will hold on to me, with whose presence i can shatter without the fear, the acid fear, of abandonment. someone who sees my beauty broken down.