yep. apathy. i think it may have been the same thing that made the trench coat mafia kill all of the kids in their high school. if you don't care, it doesn't make you a budhist monk, it just makes you an asshole. and maybe it's not even apathy, just a lack of all things good. like the other night in berthing: this girl talked about her eyebrows for a half hour straight, and she was serious about it. she gave us the history of her eybrows and how they had progressed over the years, she talked about her plans for the future of her eyebrow and how her life has changed because of their metamorphasis. i finally had to stop her by commenting on the fact that she had a lot to say about her eyebrows. she got the hint. she could have talked about anything else, but she chose facial hair. another big excitement is that some guy wants to file a grievance against me because he's an asshole. story:
he called and asked for his girlfriend (by the way he's married) and i told him she was on the phone. he asked if i would have her call him, i said yes and hung up. he called back and asked if i heard him, in a very abrasive tone. i said yes and hung up. i was not in the mood to converse with him, nor did i feel the need to. then, he cam down to the shop and started yelling at me, asking if i had a problem. as i was already annoyed, i replied that frankly i didn't like him and that was a problem for me a t the moment, so he flew off the handle and peters had to bring us in back.
whatever, he's a racist black man who is abrasive and the antithesis of a productive member of society. his opinion of me means nothing, but i think it's funny that he wants to file a grievance against me just because i don't like him.
i live and work around the crap of the nation, social rejects from all walks of life. apathy? disgust? is a grievance the only excitement i can expect? can i hope for something more, can i hope for something real? is this my life?