confidentialmisanthropy

I'm really sick of flying right now. I hate airports. Considering most of my readership is already aware anyway, I don't think I have to say outright where I am. I will tell you where I ain't. As much as I love Japan, I had to get away. Hopping around Asia for awhile has had two effects on me.

I've been cursed to be a nomad for the rest of my life.

I've noticed how beautiful America is.

I'm far from homesick, but it's nice to eat American portions, smell freshly cut grass, and watch playoff basketball at sane hours.

Mo and I went down to Oregon and hung out with Bill a bit. BS'd about E3, the fall of Square, and Leroy Jenkins. He was going to school us in Madden but we were spared. Maybe he was just feeling sorry for us. It's nice to chill with someone with a video game aptitude as high as ours every once in a while, to remind us we're not alone in the world.

I went to J's on Memorial Day for a barbeque. I capped off our little reunion by puking in her sink. Not exactly one of my finest hours. I'm still detoxing but at least I can do it from the comfort of the house I grew up in.

The closer I get to jetting out of here, the more it looks like it won't happen.

It amazes me, being on such a small ship, with such a small crew, how horribly communication flows. I recall, one of the selling points back when everyone was telling me I should do a small boy since I'd already done the carrier thing, was just that. Smaller chains of command. Smaller crew. Tight-knit community. "Ev'rybody knows ev'rybody..."

Yeah. Whatever.

I don't dislike being on a frigate, persay. I simply prefer a bigger ship. Much bigger. There's no real plus to speak of being on a frigate. Everything that would be considered a plus cancells itself out. For example: we pull in a hell of a sight more often than a carrier would. This doesn't amount to less time out at sea though. Quite the contrary. Our ship's battle flag reads "Homeports are for sissies". Cute, huh?

I can vouch for everybody knowing everybody. There's no secrets. Everyone's always in your business. The day I routed my request to move off base, I had half-a-dozen people ask me if I needed a roommate.

So yeah. Back to my point. Friday afternoon, I got what many G-Unit sailors call "got". Lumbergh style. Twice.

At about noon, I got informed that I'd be going to school again for two weeks starting Monday, which meant the last day of school landed squarely on the day I've been slated to go on leave, since like February mind you. (That's how long ago I requested it. And how long ago it was approved by the same said chain of command that created the scheduling conflict.) So. When I informed my DIVO (division officer) of the snag she tells me I need to print out my itinerary. Y'know. So she can see when my flight leaves. At this point I threw up the bullshit flag. I'm not about to bust my ass to get to Narita on account of last minute admin hijinks that I apparently ain't privy to. As per usual though, everything was twisted. Turns out I have to attend this school because they've already chalked up the orders and they've already spent massive amounts of Naval resources traning me in the last course and it'd all be for naught if I missed this one. (And yet, ScottP, who was on leave the duration of the first course is also attending the class with me.) This is the kind of bullshit they teach you at the Academy.

About 15:30, I got a message that our Disbursing clerk's computer crashed. I went down and took a look, 'cause usually when someone claims their computer crashed it involves unplugged monitors, no bullshit. Unfortunately, it was the real deal. Hard drive failure. So, I had a date with the new disbursing officer and his ailing computer... Saturday.

Nothing short of nuclear fucking winter is going to keep me from making my flight. I've earned that much.

I was gonna chalk up some thoughts about E3, and Nintendo practically not showing up, and then Tim Rogers, Michael Graham and Bill Hayden all beat me to it.

The swim test didn't happen. I simply didn't show. (I know. Brilliant right?) I don't think my COMMO (Communications Officer; boss) was too happy about it. She'll have to get over it. It's pretty interesting working for a J.O. now. All the other officers I've worked for before were prior enlisted, so they weren't pushovers and alot less succeptible to bullshit. I told her the day before:

You're really not enthused about this are you?

Ma'am, it's just not gonna happen. The only good thing that can come from me going to that pool tomorrow morning is the laughs eveyone's gonna get from a guy who's been in the Navy pushing five years half-drowning at a swim test. Enthused doesn't begin to describe how I feel about this.

I don't really feel comfortable calling her "ma'am". I only do it 'cause no one else in my division does. She's only 4 months older than me, and we've been drunk out on liberty togehter a few times. But she is still an officer. So whatever.

I just have to survive the rest of this month, so I can go home for a bit, but the odds are stacking against me. SRA is killing my network. I've been called back to the ship twice since pulling in the yards for it being 100+ degrees in the server room because the AC was off. I've got a creeping suspicion it'll all come crashing down before I'm in the wind, and I'll get held up. That'd make this a banner May, let me tell ya'.

It's May again.

May is historically the month that pushes me to the very edge of sanity. I can't believe it's already here. Where in the fuck did the first four months of 2005 go? Seriously.

Instead of going into May with optimism (if ever), I came in with my ass cheeks clenched.

I have a second class swim test (for VBSS) this Friday and there's no fucking way I can pass it. I've actually only "swam" once in my entire life, and it was nothing short of a miracle. Considering guys like me only get one of those per lifetime I've decided it's imperative I get out of it, one way or another. Don't know how yet. But it's gotta happen.



I copped Touch! Kirby this weekend at the Shibuya Tsutaya. The pink stylus looks really cool docked in my black DS, I must say. Not to mention the fact that Touch! Kirby itself is the absolute shit. Don't believe me? Ask Tim Rogers.