confidentialmisanthropy

I'm about a week and some change into my first underway on the Gary. I'm adjusting pretty decently considering the stark contrast to my last command. Little nuances here and there remind me just how different it is here. There's this cook that acts like he knows me already... has my eggs to order ready even before I get through the line. It's kinda weird. It's like going from Metropolis to Smallville. Everyone knows your name.

The Vinson was the "go to" ship in East/West Pac' during the 1200 days I spent on it. We were always busy doing something. Never a breather. Meanwhile, we pull into San Diego and the same ships are sitting in the same spots where we last saw them... idle. The Gary seems to be in a similar dilemma, but thankfully, it seems like I showed up at the tail end of the mire, but I guess only time will tell... and I've got tons of that.

I hit my 4 year mark here about a week ago. That night I talked to J and Jonny Wise-Ass over MSChat for a few hours. It's pretty dead on mids here so it was nice shootin' the shit with some of the old crew for a bit. I got in the dog house with J though 'cause it was her birthday and I kinda forgot.

She hasn't emailed me since. Hmmm.

Is it just me... or does anyone else notice how hard voting's being pushed this year? Believe it or not, it's not just the MTV crowd catching it either. Everywhere I go there's some sort of ad prodding me to vote. The web. TV. AFN...

WTF?

I haven't decided yet whether I'll do it or not, which is really ironic 'cause I've paid infinitely more attention to this election than I have for quite a while. But I don't personally lean towards either Presidential candidates at the moment. Screw the electoral college. If it up was to me we'd do it the right way. Bush vs Kerry in Sudden Death Smash Bros.





And no C-Stick bullshit.

It’s virtually impossible for me to conventionally review this compilation as objectively as perhaps someone…

· who’s adolescence wasn’t so connected with these games.
· who wasn’t an admitted Square-Enix fan boy.
· who hasn’t played remake upon remake of these games already.

So…

I’m not gonna.

There’s really a couple ways I suppose I could approach the existence of FF I - II Advance from a reviewers’ / gamers’ point of view. There’s the nostalgic approach, which frankly comes completely naturally to me considering the source.

But then there’s the cold hard truth that this isn’t 1987, and the Light Warriors may not have aged as gracefully as we’d hoped.



Back when FF I - II Advance was announced my impulsive opinion was somewhere in the range of, “It’s about effin’ time!” But, I ain’t so sure anymore.

You can learn from Nintendo and all their remakes, especially the GBA ones. Some games, regardless of advances in the industry, cosmetic and otherwise, can really be timeless.

Take Metroid: Zero Mission for example. Sure, Nintendo retrofitted the game a bit. There’s no map in the NES Metroid. ZM has a map, with indicators pointing to your next objective. A purist would tell you this is wrong because it tarnishes the experience somehow, dumbing it down, making it less hardcore or some other B.S. but truthfully, Metroid’s sequels have taught us to expect Samus to have a map. We expect Samus to grab ledges. It’s subliminal. So Nintendo adds a few features and spruces up a classic game.

The end result is something really awesome. A game, 15 years young, still relevant, equaling and sometimes besting its progeny. The blueprint for a remake.

In the event of Final Fantasy I - II we have something else entirely. Just two summers ago, Square re-released these two games for the PSOne…, which happened to be ports of the Wonderswan remakes they’d done a year earlier. Most of the updated features were cosmetic; 16-bit style graphics, orchestral soundtracks, FMV intros, etc. But there are much needed gameplay tweaks in there, like being able to buy more than one of each item a time at the shops, and the addition of a dash button and such. The NES game also had an annoying in-battle problem where if one character were set to attack an enemy that was already killed they’d swing at nothing, losing a turn. This forced us to familiarize ourselves with HP totals for monsters, which was acceptable when I was 10, but not on my PSOne in 2002. In the remake, your character auto-targets the next monster in line. However, despite all the retrofitting, the games feel extremely dated.

For the GBA compilation SE decided to alter the games (especially FF) even more. Final Fantasy’s magic system is now MP based, which makes the game infinitely more playable. The difficulty’s also been adjusted to more… tolerable levels. You can start a new game and be sending Garland to his maker in less than 15 minutes. If that wasn’t enough, you can now save without using a cottage or tent on the overworld map, which is practically a must for the portable medium.

Sadly though, despite all the retrofitting, the games still feel extremely dated.

I’ve come to the conclusion that all the tweaking in the world can’t warrant remaking these games… again; and not even a mode where I can fight the Doom Train from FFVI and Gilgamesh from FFV with my Red Wizard from FFI is gonna change that. Some games just aren’t remake-worthy.

Sacrilege, I know.

Seriously. You can’t chronicle the history of the role-playing genre or videogames as a medium for that matter without mention of Final Fantasy. But honestly, there are better candidates in the series for a true remake. I guess what I’m trying to say is, just ‘cause it worked in 1990, doesn’t mean it’ll work now. I don’t remember if I uttered expletives every time there was a random encounter in FF in 1990 on my NES… but I sure as hell do now.

If you’re one of those people who’ve been weaned on FFVII or FFX (you know who you are) and you’ve wanted to explore the series roots, just know what you’re getting yourself into. These games come from a time when Square was still shaping the genre, as we know it today, and the games are really more “experimental” than anything. My advice to you: go grab an SNES from the bargain bin and pick up Final Fantasy II (IV) if you want to see the real beginning of the series.

If you’re a long time fan of the series and you want to relive the 8-bit glory days… again, this compilation contains the best versions ever made of the two games and the “Soul” modes are cool additions but it’s a bit diluted considering how many times we’ve played this game in different forms. Just be forewarned, fondly remembering is only a random encounter away from cursing vehemently.

Plays like: RPG History: 101

... for the Cubbies!

What the hell has gotten into them lately?

They're finally playing like I've expected them to all year. Unfortunately though, the Giants are white hot right now. And those fucking Astros are still beating up on everyone, including St. Louis. Right here's where the rubber meets the road.

So the Cubs play the Fish in a double header t'day that if swept will:

1. give the Cubs the NL Wild Card lead again.
   
2. dash FLA's October hopes.
   

Win, win guys.

C'mon. Do it for Me.

Do it for Harry.

Shit, do it for Bartmann.

__________


Booyah.

Please pardon my Engrish...

Finally made it out to Akihabara yesterday... or last night rather. I didn't make it there 'til about 17:00, which was ample time... I kind of figured out how the Yamanote works, kinda like the loop in Chicago, pretty logical. It's a shame I didn't have time to do that last year or my fate here may have been a bit different.

I found alot of really cool videogame/anime/etc. shops there that had things just sitting out that American gamers drool over. I'll get a camera and notebook of my own soon and upload and post some of the droolage.

One shop in particular had a Wonderswan Crystal combo w/ FFIV for under $15 USD total... and I'm weak. So I bought it. Just having that game in handheld form, Japanese or not is too awesome. Mark my words, now that I caved and bought it they'll announce it for GBA at TGS... which sadly I won't be attending... thanks to um... commitments I'm not at liberty to discuss here. Fuck, the bullshit though... if they did, I'd pre-order like the SE bitch I am.

At least I know I'm not the only one. TR reviewed the game a while back:

Final Fantasy IV is one of those games I love so much I feel compelled to buy it every time I see it, even when I know I don't have the money to spare. I have a lot to say about Final Fantasy IV -- lots of stories to tell about it -- that I'd rather not tell in the interest of space.

I was too scared to try out any Japanese when I was shopping... I wasn't so scared of Spanish... Matter of fact I've always been pretty confident about it but Japanese is a whole 'nother animal. I'll get it...

...eventually...

...hopefully.

At first I wasn't going to bother posting a 9/11 rememberance post... I mean the entire blogging nation's doing the same. Seriously... How the hell do you prompt someone to remember something no one's ever going to forget?

This is the last four years with her in a nutshell:

SilverPorsche00: hey!
AmzSpydrmn: Konnichiwa!
SilverPorsche00: Anna Kornikova!
AmzSpydrmn: lol
AmzSpydrmn: Hajime mashite
SilverPorsche00: ham mashed potatoes and turkey!
AmzSpydrmn: LMAO
SilverPorsche00: i just drove 3 1/2 hours from DC to home
SilverPorsche00: and usually i love the drive, even with traffic and when it takes me 5 hours to get home
SilverPorsche00: today my sis decided to come along, and bitched the whole way
SilverPorsche00: i love it in the car cause its the only place that its mine
SilverPorsche00: i can think clearly without anyone judging me
SilverPorsche00: anyway i gotta go
AmzSpydrmn: oh...
SilverPorsche00: see ya ham and cheese
AmzSpydrmn: So soon?
AmzSpydrmn: ok
SilverPorsche00 signed off at 12:49:03 PM.
AmzSpydrmn: email me^^
Previous message was not received by SilverPorsche00 because of error: User SilverPorsche00 is not available.

...

Kinda hard to believe it's been five years now...

Do you remember where you were on 9/9/99?

I do. Vividly. It was the end of a long summer, but definitely one of the best I'd in quite a while. I was still working here. And I didn't have the day off. Sosa'd hit #59 off Pete Harnisch that day... While Mac' was sittin' at 54. Chris Rock was hosting the VMAs. And Square was dropping FFVIII which was like a guaranteed hit being the first FF post-FFVII...

But lo... Something else major was going on that day. SEGA's return to glory. The advent of the 128-bit era. Bleeding edge shit. That day a faint orange glow lit up the gaming industry and lit a fire that'd be extinguished much too soon. But I still remember.

I remember how good it felt to see Sonic back in action, barely avoiding a killer whale at top speed while that bridge crumbled in his wake. I still remember how cool it was to finally see someone capture hip-hop in a videogame and get it right. I still remember innovation spilling out before my eyes from Smilebit, UGA and Overworks. And who could forget finding 3-D fighting perfection on "...the stage of history!"

I remember.

I'll never forget.

If you remember, and you give two shits... REPRESENT.

I'm now a member of the crew of the USS Gary...

...and boy is she underwhelming.

Calling her "she" may just be a bit misleading 'cause there isn't a drop of estrogen whithin 50 nautical miles of the Mighty Gary. No women... whatsoever.

/think

Anyhow, I checked out of TPU and hitched a ride over to the thing passing the Kitty Hawk (who also pulled in this morning) en route... an' lemme tell you; the shitty Kitty looks alot more impressive now that I'm part of an entire crew that is like the size of their Combat Systems Department. Seriously... the Vinson would swallow the Gary like ten times... it's a big difference.

My surrogate "sponsor" (my actual assigned one wasn't there) showed me Radio today and it was pretty familiar territory, thankfully. They gave my basic DC PQSs and 3M which you can imagine garnered a smirk or two from me.

Requalls f*ckin' rule.

The consensus with pretty much the whole crew is that being on the Gary is some pretty demanding duty. Sometimes I wonder why I put myslef through these types of things when I have other options but 10'll get you 20 I'll end up liking the shit. Torture is my middle f*cking name.

...or so I'm told.

It's September 4th, and I'm at TPU in Yokosuka waiting to report to my next command... and I got alot on my mind so I figured I'd wipe the dust off the old blog.

I left the Vinson behind with little fanfare... I just kinda left. It was almost anti-climactic, for which I am infinitely thankful. I've been in Nihon for about 36 hours and spent mostly all of it reminiscing about WA.

In hindsight, for all of the regret I have I miss that place already... more the people than anything else. Even in the last 12 months I had the pleasure of knowing some really awesome people... It's almost ironic since half of my motivation for coming out here was to escape some things I just really didn't want to deal with any longer... and I've been here for 3 days and it's all I've thought about.

Go figure.

Walking around here is like walking around in a flashback, and not a particularly fond one either. I spent day one checking in to TPU and trying to re-familiarize myslef with the base... and trying to call "J"...

I spent at least an hour talking to her this morning... about nothing... but it was definitely what I needed. Just something about talking to her helps me sort things out... I can't explain it. I think I've actually got the fortitude to leave base today. Dunno if I'll take the trip to Tokyo again just yet though... This is really the first time I've been overseas on my own... at least the other times I had "J" or a wingman, but I'm on my own now, something I'm no longer accustomed to.

posted by Matthew @ 9:53 AM 0 comments