confidentialmisanthropy

So, I guess my last post scared a few of you, 'cause I got a few emails demanding explanations. I'd intended on clarifying shortly thereafter but, well, I never got around to it. I keep loading up the blogger interface and when I start trying to put to words what's been going on, I just can't sort it out and put it into words.

The Japanese have a saying on New Year's;

「一年の計は元旦にあり」
"you can predict how the year will be, by the way it is on the New Year's Day."

...Or something to that effect. 2006, for me, showed it's hand early. Not exactly on the first day, but the first month, and I called it. It was a very roller coaster-esque year for me. To those of you that don't already know, Hawaii didn't happen. I submitted my JASS req' early in the spring, like March. I got an email saying the request was approved. I did my Flag and Overseas screenings... and then nothing happened. For fucking months. I repeatedly and fruitlessly tried contacting my detailer for any morsel of information so I could, y'know, TRANSFER.

Nothing.

They didn't return my calls or my emails. And my orders never came.

Now, at this point, being a very understandably sea-weary individual, way overdue for some shore-duty, I became very frustrated. And to make matters much worse, my chain of command dropped a bomb on my motivation, which is essentially all I have. To be a sailor on a forward-deployed ship is arduous duty. Your "schedule" at any given time is so malleable that you're never able to plan anything and with North Korea in our back yard, you can literally be sent out at a moment's notice. Then there's the constant spectre of typhoons, which are similarly unpredictable. It's a stressful situation and you have to personally come up with a reason everyday to continue living like that, I mean outside of moral or military obligations. For some people it's family. Other people are just that damn patriotic, and that's enough. Some people are socially retarded and are completely aware that the military is the only place where they can do anything productive with their lives. (Sad, but true.) I'm not sure I even had a reason. But whatever it was, a lone performance evaluation obliterated it. I'm not a Navy poster boy. I don't pretend to be. Ever. I don't kiss ass. I don't "play" the politics game. But I do my job. Well enough that my contemporaries and especially, people outside of my chain of command can't understand why I always get screwed over whenever awards get handed out or eval time comes around. It's uncanny. After that, I pretty much couldn't bear to wake up on that ship when we were underway. Or march to it in the rain while we were in homeport. I just didn't think it was worth it anymore.

Despite this "revelation", I still found myself there. Every fucking day. The final nail-in-the-coffin came in the form of an email. The command career counselor and command master chief were TAD to a hull-swap conference Stateside and while they were there they got some gouge on what the hell was going on with my transfer. This is what they sent back, verbatim minus some seriously FOUO stuff that I simply can publish here:

Info from Millington IRT IT2 Watts:



- IT2 Watts. We have not told the member or any of the chain of command, but unfortunately, IT2 Watts has lost his orders. The member never had a --------. The detailer was waiting for this information to update, since it was never submitted, it was never updated. The fill date came and went and the billet got filled by another member. The orders were lost on no fault to the member. Request that we verify that our ------- submissions have been getting off the boat. IT2 still needs to apply for a ---------. Mr. James at the security desk is the POC for the -------- issue, if CTT1 does not have this I will provide tomorrow. All bad news for IT2. The detailer acknowledges that the member had no fault and is willing to work with the member to get another set of orders to Hawaii. We checked the reqs and nothing that he would be interested in or qualified for is available at this time. IT2 cannot negotiate for orders until his ------------ issue is resolved. Please provide confirmation that Mr James has received this information and how.

Observe. This actually got blamed on me at some point. I cannot express how frustrating things got after this point. This was... July-ish, after my 9 mo. window for negotiating for orders had come and gone. Now, after this issue got resolved, like by September, which was when I was originally supposed to rotate, I got the silent treatment AGAIN.

Eventually I said "to hell with it" and began emailing the senior detailer, 'cause I was getting absolutely nowhere. He replied with my detailer's contact information. This was especially snide, considering I'd included all of my fruitless attempts at getting any replies in the email I sent him. So if he'd actually read the email, he'd have known I was perfectly aware who the fuck my detailer was. As you can imagine, this pretty much set me off. I passed along the email to my division officer and she accomplished more in one really stern email to both detailers than anyone else (including the CPO mess) had done for me during the entire ordeal. Next thing I know they're bending over backwards to get me orders. This ultimately landed me in Ayase.

So yeah. That's a pretty abridged version of the hellish 2006 I've had. I hope that answers all of your burning questions. In closing, I'd like to answer another. There isn't a chance in hell I'll be subjecting myself to this brand of bullshit ever again.

Next episode I'll discuss FFXII, my return to Vana'diel, and why Dragon Quest IX will be the best game ever made. So feed me, 'cause there won't be any more hiatuses for a long time.

...have been somewhat exaggerated.

I'm not dead. Although, for a minute there, my own mental health was brought into question; something I'll elaborate on with my next post once I'm able to gather myself and chronicle the events of the last 5 months or so. My bonds on the USS Gary have been broken, 60 days overdue albeit, but broken nonetheless. The entire process of my transfer was botched and delayed at just about every juncture and the whole experience just validated my current perception of the United States Navy as an organization. (And I use the word organization here very loosely.)



Now, after 6+ years of sea service I can finally taste the spoils of some shore duty. I won't be in Hawaii w/ Mo and company as planned but my personal history has shown the very act of planning anything is a fool's errand. I'm not typing this entry from my base of operations so I'll cut this short. Enjoy some photos of my recent travels in the mean time or drop me a line and maybe I'll fill you in what's transpired since my last post, if you have the clearance "/wink".

Okinawa:









I didn't get to the chance to see Shuri like I'd planned (I only had 2 days off while we were in port; one of them ruined by the most rain I've seen since I left WA) but I did manage to snap a few photos during my visit to Okinawa. I spent one afternoon in a reconstructed, old style village called Ryukyu-mura. My timing was a little bad 'cause some photo-op's were ruined by some construction going on there. I think I might have to head back sometime this summer while the G-Unit's in the yards so I can see Shuri Castle and Taketomi if I'm really lucky.

Trish mentioned to me a while back that she hates reading my blog 'cause it's "full of incomprehensible videogame techno-babble". Truth is, life isn't a bowl of cherries right now and I don't enjoy writing about it. I don't want my blog to devolve into some long, angsty rant about how much life sucks but what are blogs for, right?

My Navy "career" has officially jumped the shark. I've lost any and all motivation and it will not be returning. This isn't one of those FTN phases that every sailor seems to go through. I'm mentally and professionally done, all that's left now is waiting for my EAOS. I didn't just wake up one day and decide on this. There's been a concerted effort by certain individuals I've been forced to work with to make me this way. I'm sure there are some places and communities in the Navy where you can serve with people that truely are in it to serve their country instead of themselves, but I haven't the priveledge of being stationed there.

So anyway, back to the incomprehensible videogame techno-babble.

I'm making a return trip to Vana'diel. I read an awesome article in the latest issue of The Gamer's Quarter about one girl's experience and frustration with Final Fantasy XI and realizing someone out there felt the same way about the game I did really got me interested in playing again. I figure if she can keep hope alive handing out flowers in Jeuno (seriously, how adorable is that?) I could stomach waiting for hours with my party flag up again. Besides, I fucking miss skillchains like nobody's business. There's nary a more gratifying thing in all of videogamedom than being in a party in FFXI that can skillchain correctly. What's more, Bill and some of the GL crew are planning on hopping on Fenrir so things are looking up. Somebody'd better warn the rock lizards. BT's coming back to Bastok.

More where that came from.

Hong Kong is one of the most densely populated regions in the world, and is famous for its energetic metropolitan area. It has experienced over 5 millennia of human activities, and its unique modern history started when it was founded as a British crown colony and an entrepôt in 1842.
Despite its density, only 17% of land is built up, and greenery is everywhere. It is a place of contrasts - frenetically urban and adjacent to pristine greenery; extremely rich next to dirt poor; Western culture and oriental culture. Victoria Harbour is world famous for its splendid nightview from the Peak. The central business district is heavily urbanised with skyscrapers all around, but country parks are just kilometres away. - Wikipedia

Despite my lack of posting, March '06 is somehow my biggest month in pageloads (since Nov. '04), so I figured I'd justify the last 1500 or so with something resembling an update.

I procured an EOS 20D a couple of weeks back. I'd been flirting with the idea of buying my own SLR for sometime but I didn't feel like I could justify the purchase, given my skill level. However, digital photography climbed the rungs of the hobby ladder largely undeterred in the last twelve months (thanks to Flickr and Scott P) and I got enough encouragement from people commenting on my photos to the point where I'm confident that I may be good at this one day. So here I am with another expensive pastime.

Unfortunately (well, depends on how you look at it) my globetrotting days (via the Navy) are numbered 'cause, God willing, I leave my current command this Fall for greener pastures so right now I'm focusing on transferring and making the best of the time I have left in the Far East.

But enough talk... Have at you!